Boy, we’ve really gotten spoiled, haven’t we? Time was when four wheels and working pedals were all we needed, but nowadays everyone has an opinion. And while these lovable losers of the road may have something special in the eyes of their owners, it’s universally accepted that looks aren’t it. Of course, if you happen to drive one of these magnificent beasts, good for you. Like the saying goes, if you can’t laugh, you can’t live. And if you can’t drive something other than one of these misguided masterpieces … maybe you should get a bike.
FIAT Multipla
Want a laugh? Take a look at the Multipla. Much maligned for looking like it had missed a few crucial design steps, this amphibian-based FIAT actually earns high marks from those who’ve driven it, thanks to its family-friendly practicality. Which is ironic, because no one has ever started a family after driving around in one of these.
Photo by Corvettec6r
Porsche Panamera
The Panamera looks like it slipped on the way up the evolutionary ladder and then hit its head on every rung on the way down, though you can’t deny its German engineering and four-door functionality. This is the perfect car for bored suburbanites who almost forgot they had active kids to chauffeur around.
Photo by Yahya S
Subaru Baja
The result of a late-night romp between a Chevy El Camino and a platypus, this physically frightening composite may be well-equipped to take on Mother Nature, but it carries features that only a mother could love.
Photo by Greg Goebel
Chevrolet SSR
Proof that the ‘good old days’ never existed, the SSR is a misaligned combination of retro style and modern ignorance – making it the perfect choice for nobody in particular.
Photo by Steve Jurvetson
Pontiac Aztek
This is the car that almost singlehandedly killed off the automotive industry. Now immortalized as Walter White’s ride of choice, this compromise of a car depresses minds on looks alone. For everyone out there who stops at mediocrity and says, “Yep, this’ll do,” the Aztek is for you.
Photo by IFCAR
AMC Gremlin
The Gremlin is the automotive version of a Pug – it’s so ugly that is somehow defies the bounds of human understanding and winds up being oddly cute. Winner of America’s first subcompact race but a loser in so many other ways, the aptly named Gremlin enjoyed a brief resurgence in the late ‘90s when kitsch ruled all things fashion. Does that make the Gremlin cool? No, but at least now people will probably wait until you putter away to make fun of you.
Photo by Tap Tapzz
Every Hybrid Ever
If we knew the future was going to look like this, we might still be directing horses around town. Vehicles like the Toyota Prius, Nissan LEAF, Honda Insight, and the unfortunately named Mitsubishi i-MiEV are incredibly fuel efficient – as they should be, since every R&D dollar seemingly goes toward economy.
Photos by David Villarreal Fernandez, Keith Fahlgren, Karlis Dambrans, and Michael Pereckas
Suzuki X-90
This Barbie Mobile requires lots of imagination on the road, thanks to its toy-powered 95 horsepower engine and doll-sized two-seat configuration.
Photo by whatcharterboat22
KIA Soul
– Has none.
Photo by order_242
Nissan Murano CC
The Murano CC, full name CrossCabriolet, is sort of like Donald Trump’s hair. It’s oddly intriguing to look at, you can’t help but want to touch it out of morbid curiosity, and it has a detachable top that looks terrible up or down.
Photo by IFCAR
1996 Ford Taurus
This is the type of car you’d break up with a significant other for driving. Thankfully, Ford has made strides in aesthetic value for the Taurus line, but back in ’96 when this Taurus was introduced, bicycle sales went up 78% at the same time*. Just a coincidence, we’re sure.
*Not factual.
Photo by IFCAR
Nissan Juke
Named as such because most drivers tend to veer away from it, the Juke is proof that graduation gifts cannot be returned. An internet poll once posed the question: Which would you rather drive, the Juke or the Cube? And America collectively lost a quarter of a million pounds while briefly considering the merits of walking. Seriously, though, both offer great interior space that’s perfect for hiding regret.
Photo by miheco
Chrysler PT Cruiser
This vehicle is so ugly that people purposely try to cut off on the road. Seeing one huddled up in a driveway all Quasimodo-like, waiting to be put out of its misery, makes you instantly dislike the people who live there. But hey, it could be worse; you could have to actually drive one yourself.
Photo by Valerie Everett
And finally, last and definitely least, we have the…
1970 Plymouth Road Runner Superbird
The stylistic joke that writes itself, this muscle car monstrosity may have been built for racetrack supremacy, but its bulbous shark nose, ridiculous spoiler, and all-around lack of stylistic integrity just make you wish that the Coyote had won.
Photo by Sicnag
Awesome, you hit all my choices. And my neighbors have two PT Cruisers!
Personally the Road Runner Superbird is valued more than all the other put the together
I personally like the super bird,gremlin,X90 and soul
good choices but some r’nt that bad
How the hell can u call a 70 Plymouth roadrunner superbird ugly!? Its an awesome work of art.
Because it is!!!
Dude, i like SSR’s, PT Cruiser’s and the Super Bird.
Way off on the Superbird and you better re-think the Hybrid comment or at least clarify an era of hybrid. The Lincoln MKZ hybid is Sharp!
There was a little dissension here over the inclusion of the Super Bird but at the end of the day this is one man’s opinion and we respect that. (Though some of us may also have a real soft spot for the Gremlin.)
And okay, we have to agree. The MKZ is definitely one lovely exception to the Hybrid rule.
I realize the Nissan Cube (they should have spelled it “Qube”) got an honorable mention, but it really deserved an entry of it’s own. The Superbird wasn’t intended to be pretty, it was supposed to win races, which it and the Dodge Daytona did so well they were basically outlawed by NASCAR. And you know what, the Honda Crosstaur is uglier that the Panamera.
I have a Hyundai Sonata hybrid. Can’t tell the difference in the regular Sonata.
You put the awesome Super Bird on the list, but not the AMC Pacer?
Exactly the superbird give me a break …that is one of the best looking cars ever to leave detroit. And there are so many other offensive cars u could of listed. Frankly tire buyer or rack representetive you suck. Suck like a fart in a elevator
Check the new Mustangs…The coyote DID win…
You forgot the smart car (I think) and the world’s largest fish bowl….the Pacer.
There is these hybirds called the Ferrari laferrari, mclaren P1, porsche 918, acura nsx, and bmw i8. You think those are all ugly. This is bias and wrong and unfactual fake news.
The Plymouth is amazing. You got everything right but the road runner
LOL….couldn’t agree more on your list. Especially the “super” bird. It always reminded me of something someone pieced together in their garage using duct tape, super glue, and pieces of plastic. Excellent list.
Aztec will forever reign as the pinnacle of ugly. How did they even sell one?
The Nissan Juke isn`t ugly, it`s more a tough looking car.
How did you miss the ’61 Valiant?
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
What about Honda Civics, Crv and Crosstour?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What surprises me is the shortsightedness. While the author calls out the Gremlin, he misses the much, much uglier pacer, or for that matter, the Matador too. While he picks on the Aztek, (which in some trims without as much black plastic is a kinda cool bloated stealth fighter), he misses it’s sickening cousin, the Buick Rendezvous, which never looked good in any trim. Bring on the Citroen, those ugly post-sports car 4door Tbirds, heck most things born between 1973 and 1986.
For us older folks, there’s the ’41 Plymouth , the Edsel, 56 Packard or Hudson Hollywood and Rambler or cars made on both sides of WW2, ‘cept for the ’40 Ford (a masterpiece of hot rod design).
LSD didn’t come into widespread use till the mid sixties, and I agree on the SuperBird.
I don’t feel so alone anymore 😉
re: the ’61 Valiant – strange indeed, but now a great platform for a custom job
You forgot an entire class of automobile that is simply the dumbest thing ‘Muricans love. The crossover hatchback. The Honda Crosstour, BMW X4 and X6 and yes, I guess the Panamera qualify. These cars are simply the stupidest things. All the bulk of an SUV with the storage capacity of a sedan and the visibility of an H1 Hummer.
And people call my ’66 Mustang ugly.
One that also should be added is the Toyota Echo. It is goofy. And yes I agree the Nissan Cube should be here too.
As far as the Superbird goes, I was surprised to see it on the list. Not that I think it’s beautiful or anything but I never really thought of it as ugly. I know that in person, the Dodge Daytona or Plymouth Superbird is huge!! That beak really makes for a long car. And the other thing I’ll say about them is that I was in my late teens when those two were made in 1969 and ’70. There was an orange Superbird around our town, the only winged car around. We had a section of our town where everybody cruised on Friday and Saturday nights. If we were in a parking lot observing them, all the guys laughed at that Superbird as it sauntered by. I’ve also heard they were hard to sell when new. I think this says why.
One that also should be added is the Toyota Echo. It is goofy. And yes I agree the Nissan Cube should be here too.
As far as the Superbird goes, I was surprised to see it on the list. Not that I think it’s beautiful or anything but I never really thought of it as ugly. I know that in person, the Dodge Daytona or Plymouth Superbird is huge!! That beak really makes for a long car. And the other thing I’ll say about them is that I was in my late teens when those two were made in 1969 and ’70. There was an orange Superbird around our town, the only winged car around. We had a section of our town where everybody cruised on Friday and Saturday nights. If we were in a parking lot observing them, all the guys laughed at that Superbird as it sauntered by. I’ve also heard they were hard to sell when new. I think this says why.